Then - Now - Later
I’ve been reading my old diary -the one I wrote when I was working in Jakarta- in the last few days. It’s quite amusing since I’ve forgotten some of the details, good and bad, I had at that time. I also laughed at myself when I realized how I’d tried to write something in English. Well, I must do the same thing some time in the future when I read what I’ve written here.
But I cannot believe that I was rambling on about the same thing through each and every page. Most of the time!! And I got 3 thin books!! Even the words I used in various occasions are similar, if not exactly the same. How boring!! I didn’t realize it when I was there, how silly (or "gullible", borrowing someone’s term) I had been… how annoying I may have been…etc. etc. Yet I guess it’s good that I read all those stuffs before I go back for good. That way I know the differences, the changes in me and the changes I should go for.
Btw, when it comes to something bad…and you know that it’s likely to happen someday anyway… do you think it’s better to get it earlier? So that it protects you from building up a false hope? Which one is more discouraging, to know it NOW, or later… after you’ve given a chance to do this and that? I guess there will never be a good time for a bad news.
