How ‘SPECIAL’ is my ‘NOT SPECIAL’?
Nothing special today, but I’m so… glad that I don’t have to work tonight considering that I’ve worked for the past 3 nights and there’re 3 more nights to go this week!! Dunno why sometimes I’m bored with the have-to-smile-all-the-time thing. Not like when I was working in Jakarta, though I had it for more than 2.5 years.
I started my day today with an sms from Jakarta. An sms from him early in the morning has always had the power to wake me up more than a cup of morning coffee. Even until now, when I take his words much more easily. Anyway…
Later, I had a quick visit to Melb U, which I like doing during holidays bcoz I think it can perfectly displays its ‘pride and beauty’ when it comes without any burden of classes to attend or exams to sit in. Sometimes I imagine how I will feel as I visit my campus few years later, I must reminisce about what I’m doing today, where everything started (i.e. the International Students office), what I had for lunch on a particular day in my last semester, where I usually sat in Bailieu, or even simply about the only ‘pohon rambutan’ we had in Melbourne! =) Well, as somehow I feel that I may not have that chance to re-visit my uni, I think pretending to be in that visit doesn’t harm me.
Then I met my friends. We walked around Bourke St. and Elizabeth St. without any destination before we eventually ended up in Lygon St., inspecting one of student accomodations there, which was the reason I left my place this afternoon in the first place. The place was okay, not too bad, though not the one I’d strive for. Afterall, it costs me too much. And I think, at the moment, I’m not gonna trade my current place, which I’ve been trying to settle into (but not ‘too’ settle either, as life’s thought me that everything lasts only as long as they’re pleased to), with another place that’s unfamiliar, especially when taking into account my stuffs, which are a lot(!!) and heavy =). I was clearly reminded of this yesterday, when I helped my friend moving. The idea of staying in a better place before I leave Melb and the excitement of moving into a new place keep on teasing me, though. But, I don’t feel like starting all over again. I think I had enough. All I’m looking for is to feel safe. Well, I think I’m not ready to be a grown-up in this case. I’m so used to a life where everyone (even my bestfriends) tries to protect me, though sometimes I find it extremely annoying.
Shortly, I watched ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ on the TV ’till I slept. It was a hot day that I felt so sleepy after I had a big plate of Pad Thai and had a stroll around the Fed Square and around my place. Had a chat with my sis’ friend on the phone later, and with my friends on ym the next hours.
I feel so alone these days, but somehow I have the courage to enjoy it in a way that I don’t understand. I’ve never felt like this before. Perhaps someone(s) has been praying for me for this ‘hapiness’, like my friend said, that everyday there’s someone praying for you, you may just not know it. Well, I know for sure my mom and dad continuously pray for us.
I so wanna feel comfy with my life here, but I’m too scared to feel that as I know everything changes and life may dissapoint you, and it will cause much pain when I don’t acknowledge that fact.
And the story ends with a phonecall from a friend I thought I’ve lost. I’m so happy to have a talk again with him after a while. And I’m even happier knowing he did very well last semester.
Afterall, today is not ‘not special’ as I thought before. I thought what I had had today was like any other normal days. But when I was writing the details of it…hey, that’s not true… In fact, today has started and ended nicely, despite the bumpy feeling I had throughout the day.
P.S. Btw, I think Corona is still much better than any Oz beers. One more thing, I started to read before sleeping. ‘Geisha, A Life’ is my first book. Though I’m not able to do the speed-reading (well, I’m trying), I quite enjoy it and I hope I can finish it before the movie is on. Can’t wait to watch that movie!!!
